A couple of things:

• Happy birthday to my dear friend Juli, who has been having such a hard time of it due to Katrina. I'm so happy you and Shawn have decided to settle in Dallas. I'm so happy that your life is starting to get back on track. I've been so worried about you, sweetie. I hope your day is great! You deserve it.


• Yesterday was full of nothing but gaming, and I am not the same for it. O.M.G.W.T.F.


• Sometimes I'm just in the mood for black tea, right?


• My hair is still OMGRED and it's seriously growing on me.


• I'm so, so tired of The Governator.


• I'm leaving for Northern Faire in a few hours, so I'm saying my goodbyes now, while I'm not yet running around the house at a frantic pace, trying to remember everything I've forgotten to pack. I will be back around either late, late Sunday night (depending on how tired I am) or Monday. I hope everyone has a lovely weekend. I'm sure I will!

Ran into Sean tonight for the first time in months. It's so strange how, with him and I, any bad feelings can just go away when I see him, just because I know it'll be harder to try and stay mad at him rather than just letting shit slide and moving on with my life. He's too big a part of things to let grudges factor in. I suppose I'm just bitter over things. I guess I'm over it. None of it was a big deal, anyway. People move on and apart, and instead of getting angry and trying to shut that person out, it's better to move with things and try to meet them in the middle, right?

In other news, my hair is really fucking red. Much more red than I wanted it. I suppose Dez and I had a bit of a miscommunication regarding the color. I look like I've been scalped. As soon as my camera stops being an insolent whore, I'll have pictures. I mean, I like my hair... I just don't think it's appropriate anymore. I'm a little too old to have my hair this color when I don't actually have a job that will allow it.

God, I feel so old. Fuck it. I like my hair. I'm keeping it.

In case any of you are interested in the people I talk about here...

Collie: Me. 26 years old and only just recently attained my Associates degree. Professional slacker for many years, now. I've been known to make $20 stretch over two weeks. I'm an avoider, a day-dreamer, an insomniac, a cynic, a loving friend, an anti-social wanker, caring yet cruel, stubborn, and manipulative. I fear change, yet I yearn for it. I love new places and things, but I always need to come home.

Jesse: My boyfriend and best friend. I've known him for nearly five years, and I think I knew I was going to marry him the moment I set eyes on him.

Jason: The boy-next-door. He's lived next door to me for nearly twenty years, but we've only been friends for about six of those. He is a world-class geek and the sweetest little bastard this side of... this side.

Sean: I've known Sean for about nine years. He is responsible for dragging me out of my shell. Without him, I'd probably still be friendless and afraid of the outside world, all curled up in my room, reading. Of course, without him I'd also have a much healthier outlook on dating and relationships.

Ambiguous Faire Friends: To be expounded upon as I name them.

Sarah: My sister. Trendy, materialist, over-dramatic, but stupidly hilarious when she wants to be. She's insane. No really, she's on meds. She's no longer on meds because she's not allowed to have them anymore, but she's still crazy... now she's just a bit calmer about it. Imagine that, meds making you more crazy. What a concept.

Mom & Dad: The best people in the world, ever.

These are only the big names. I'll add to this as time goes by.

So Kallun asked me a question; "So I'm curious - why the interest in Japan? Have you lived here before?" and instead of fitting a long-winded answer into that tiny comment box, I've decided to address this in its own post, because I'm sure some of the other people I'm stalking stalking might be curious as well ;)

My interest in Japan stems from two sources; 1) My interest in Sociology, and 2) My great-grandfather.

I've always been fascinated by other cultures. Even down to the way people in northern California act as opposed to those down here in southern California. Why are people different? What makes them that way? How do different people react to this, this, and that? What do they eat? How do they live? See where I'm going with this? I'm an unapologetic social voyeur. The reason my current target is Japan has to do with my great-grandfather. He was Japanese (he passed away in 1996), but he knew absolutely nothing about his heritage. He was Nisei, born in Pomona, CA. His parents came to the US from Hiroshima, intent on completely starting over; raising their children as Americans, where they would have endless opportunities.

My great-grandfather ended up serving in the US military's 442nd Infantry while his family sat in an Internment camp, waiting for the war to be over.

But apart from that... my great-grandfather really knew very little about Japan, but since he was my great-grandfather, I was interested in him. I'd ask him questions when I was little: "Why do Japanese people eat raw fish?" "I don't know. I don't understand why anyone would want to eat raw fish when there's perfectly good fire available." "Grandpa? Can you teach me Japanese?" "I can teach you how to count to ten. That's all I know to do." "Grandpa? Why do you eat rice with every meal?" "Colleen, eat your breakfast."

He was very quiet. He watched and listened, so I regret to say that I didn't ever get to know him very well, and it's always bothered me, so I feel a bit of a yearning toward Japan, I suppose, to learn about the place my great-grandfather came from. To learn about it for him and for me.

I've never lived there before. I've never even been there before. I don't think I ever will visit. I have this thing about not visiting a country unless I know the language. It just seems rude and pretentious to me. But who knows, right? We never really know where we'll end up at the end of the day.

I've been having tummy troubles lately. It's strange; I never used to have problems with my stomach. I swear, the thing is iron-shod. I could eat anything and I'd never have a problem, but lately, it seems that anything I eat has me running for the bathroom within an hour.

Meh.

Maybe I'll try going veggie again... see how that pans out.

I did a fat lot of nothing today. I so win and you are so jealous.

...

*yawn*

I think I’ll go and clean my room. At least that way I’ll be able to make sure my blood doesn’t completely dust in my veins.

Lazy days. Not good for the psyche.

I am entering the "I'm not doing anything with my life so I'm questioning my worth" phase of my life. Staying up too late at night and doing nothing with my days. Feeling guilty for taking up space. Not like I'm mooching off of anyone though; I have money... it's just that feeling; you know the one. I went through years of school and now I'm done and I'm not doing anything with it... but I just want some time to myself, you know? This is the first time in, what, twenty-one years that I haven't been in school? I've never, ever taken time off, and I think I deserve it.

Went out with Jesse today. We sat for a bit at the Coffee Bean. I grabbed some lunch from Daphne's Greek Café and felt rather gipped. I ordered the vegetarian pita with a Greek salad on the side. Turns out, all that the vegetarian pita is is Greek salad with a smear of hummus on a pita, so what I basically ordered was two Greek salads with a pita and a smear of hummus. Effers. Went back to Jesse's place afterwards and watched 'Collateral' which I'd been meaning to see for ages. So brilliant. It did not disappoint.

This weekend I'm heading up to Northern Faire. I'm half-excited and half-not. When I have nothing to do with my days, I find that I tend to hermit myself away. I've been sort of anti-social lately, so while I know I'm going to have an excellent time this weekend, there's still that dread in the pit of my stomach at the idea of being so far away from home in an unfamiliar place. Not to mention, there are certain people that I really want to see, and I know that if they're not there I'll be sorely disappointed, and that's pre-bumming me out. I know it's silly to let myself get into that mood, but I guess if I get sullen about it beforehand, then maybe I can get over it beforehand, that way I won't be so disappointed when I get up there and they're not there, and if they are, hey, even better, right?

Sometimes... LiveJournal just isn't personal enough. So here I am again, wasting Blogger's proffered webspace instead of publishing this blog to four-am.com. I feel decidedly evil.

I'm 26 and I just got my Associates in Computer Networking which I'm sitting on because I'm too lazy to go out and get a job. I also can't drive, which definitely puts a damper on things. I have car-fear. It's a thing... a common thing, mind you, so don't look at me that way.

Hey, I have $3,000 in the bank and no bills. I'm good for awhile.

I can't promise that this blog will be brilliantly witty and entertaining. I hate politics, so I won't be discussing politics. I rarely do long reviews of books, movies, music, et al. because someone else has done one and they've most likely done it better than I could. This space will most likely be filled with random crap, ramblings, daily anecdotes pertaining to my dull life, and the occasional crappy photo.

So, enjoy. I know I (probably) will.